Imperium Amorque
by HogwartsHeadGirl21
Summary: Cassandra Kendrick was 16 when she came to the Island with her aunt. Three years later she is unwilling to stop the unfamiliar feelings building in her for the mysterious and powerful man that is Ben Linus
1. Arrival

Chapter One: Arrival

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

~Carl Jung

Aunt Lydia thought it was weird that we needed to be unconscious in order to get to the Island. Looking back on; it my naivety led me to believe that it was normal procedure and that my aunt was being paranoid. In the end of course nothing happened.

I woke up to a moment of silence. With my mind coming slowly to consciousness I lay on the cot as my senses came back to me. I can tell the submarine is still moving and that people are talking outside the room I'm in. When I feel more or less like myself I sit up. In the cot across from me Lydia has just returned from unconsciousness and is struggling to gain her mind as quickly as possible, not letting it return normally as I did. I stand up and approach the bathroom attached to the room. I am disheveled; my hair is sticking out and I can see the sleepiness in my eyes.

"We will be reaching the surface in five minutes please gather your items and wait for further instructions," a garbled voice says over the intercom system aboard the sub. "Oh yeah sorry. Please alert someone if your companion has not regained consciousness." I glance outside the bathroom and see Lydia sitting up and holding her head.

"Hey, are you feeling okay?" I ask and she looks up at me.

"Yeah, Just groggy," she says smiling at me. I return the favor before retreating back in to the bathroom. Splashing water on my face I am finally able to feel awake. I quickly apply some black eyeliner, blush, and lip gloss before running my hands though my hair and achieving a presentable hair style. My bangs are falling perfectly straight against my forehead for once and the rest of my straight black hair is only a little past my shoulders. I exit the bathroom allowing Lydia the room and gather the small book bag that is my luggage into my arms followed by the book I am currently reading. A few moments later there was a slight knock on the door. Lydia quickly exited the bathroom and opened the door.

"Hello again. We have just reached the surface. Are you ready to see the Island?" Nestor asked. Nestor Castor had met us at the marina in Virginia Beach. He had explained the voyage procedure and the like when we and the other had arrived. There weren't very many people on the sub, as far as I could see when we had first got on the sub. A woman about Lydia's 45 years and her husband and a man about ten years older than my 15 were the only other people besides the crew of 3.

"Yes," Lydia says curtly and begins to walk to the exit of the sub. Nestor smiles at me before gesturing that I should go first. I smile back and follow Lydia. "What time is it?" Lydia asks from in front of me.

"Umm," I say looking at my watch but it isn't working.

"We surfaced at 8:46pm" I hear Nestor say from behind me. Lydia sighs and continues walking. We had left Virginia Beach at 7am and I knew my internal clock would take a while before it caught up.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," Captain Nemo says. His name is actually Brian Foster but as he prefers Nemo so I thought I would go with it. "The time is now 9pm on April 18th. Everyone ready to go up top?" he smiled as we nodded an affirmative answer. He climbed the ladder behind him and opened the door. The sky above us, as far as I could tell, was dark and I could see a blanket of stars before Captain Nemo blocked my view while he exited. I went last and I heard the door latch shut behind me.

Even in the evening light the place looked like something out of a book. The moon played over the green mountain and the tropical trees. I can't even explain how the Island looks. The only way I could explain it to you is if I asked you to imagine a tropical paradise and there would be the Island.

As I had stood atop the sub the other passengers had had already departed and were almost out of sight walking along the dock. Lydia was waiting for me and I quickly reached where she was. We were walking along on the dock now and I followed her along it. I soon realized however that we weren't alone on the dock.

"Welcome!" the person shaped figure in the middle of the dock said. "My name is Benjamin Linus and I am the leader here on the Island." The man speaking was about half a foot taller than me and wearing a dark blue button up shirt and khakis. "You must be Lydia Terran." After shaking hands with my aunt his eyes move over to me and lock with mine. I get caught up in the amazing blue of his eyes and almost miss him saying, "and Miss Kendrick I presume." He was holding out his hand to me. I snapped out of it and quickly took his hand to shake it.

"Yes Cassandra Kendrick," I said smiling. I felt the blush creep up my cheeks and as he let go of my hand I looked down at the dock. It was stupid really. I don't know what had come over me. I glanced up at him again and he was staring down at me with calculating eyes.

"From Greek mythology," he said when I looked up at him.

"Yes, the unheeded prophetess," I replied. He nodded and then turned back to my aunt.

"I hope the trip went well," he said moving on without giving us a chance to answer. Whether he saw that Lydia had indeed not had a good trip or because he was in a hurry I didn't know. "It is pretty late so I'll save the tour, introductions, and guidelines for tomorrow and I'll just show you were you'll be staying while on the Island." He began walking and we followed closely behind. Okay embarrassing start but I could quickly put it behind me. I just wasn't expecting… wasn't expecting… well someone like him.

"These are the barracks where most of the community lives. We have building all over the island though. This particular station is surrounded by pylons as a safety measure although they haven't been necessary in years," he said and as I glanced up at him I saw the corners of his mouth turn up in to a slight smile but it was gone a moment later.

"We haven't needed to make two trips with the sub for luggage before," he said conversationally to Lydia.

"Yes well that would be Cassandra's luggage," she replies. He turns to look at me and from his gaze I can tell he thinks I packed clothes and make up and shoes, which I did obviously but not in the staggering amounts he would have gathered from the boxes we had sent to the island last week. He looks me up and down taking in the black A line skirt and the deep red cotton lose fitting spaghetti strap shirt I am wearing. Inappropriate for a deserted island I know but I only wore it because we were meeting people for the first time at a marina and I hadn't thought ahead to the final destination.

"I didn't want to leave my books," I say keeping the bite out of it in respect to the leader. I glance over to him and he raises an eyebrow before turning to look ahead of us.

"And here is where you will be staying," he said as the back of a house appears. It was blue in color with white trim. We walked around to the front where a whole village of houses appears. He pointed to the house next door to our new house, "That is Juliet Burke's house. You will be helping her in her research Lydia. Well I will let you get settled in and be back in the morning. If you need anything please let Juliet know," he finished and I notice that he hasn't offered his services.

"Thank you Mr. Linus," Lydia said.

"You're welcome," he said before turning and walking across the courtyard. "Have a good night."

"You too," I said before he was out of ear shot. He turned around and gave me another of those calculating looks before turning back to his path. I turned and followed Lydia in to our new house.


	2. Exploring

Welcome to chapter two. I changed it so Cassandra is 16 when she came to the Island. If you have any comments please feel free

I closed the door behind me and followed Lydia in to the kitchen. It was on the small side but had enough room for the usual kitchen essentials and a four person dining table. There was a pink note on the door of the refrigerator. Lydia took it off and read it.

"We stocked you up on the usual food. Let the cafeteria know if you need, or don't need, any food." Lydia read. Opening the refrigerator up we both look around at the food filling it, "Are you hungry?" Lydia asked grabbing a can of soda out of the refrigerator.

"Not really," I reply and she nod in reply.

"Well then let's go look at the rest of our new home." She smiles at me reassuringly in a worried over protective way. I feign enthusiasm and follow her in to the hall. The bathroom is larger than I imagined with a shower, bathtub, sink, and toilet. It will be easy enough to share it with Lydia as it is the only one in the house. Next to the bathroom is the larger bedroom, Lydia's, and across from that is mine. A full bed with white sheets and blue pillows sits in the middle of the room. Other than that there is a desk, a dresser, boxes, more boxes, a bookshelf, and vanity. "Looks like we'll be unpacking for a while," Lydia says and I look over my shoulder to her. I laugh and smile back at her worried face only to reassure her worried face.

"Yeah. Better get started. Do you need help unpacking?" I ask nicely. She smiles back and shakes her head no and enters her room. I retreat in to mine closing the door behind me. Sighing I open the closest box to me labeled, "clothes." You might be wondering why Lydia is acting like I might break down at any moment. Well before we came here, to this Island, we lived in Arlington, Virginia. However we didn't live together. I lived with my mom and Lydia lived a couple blocks away. My mom, Amara Kendrick, and her sister had always been really close so you can imagine how sad she was when Lydia came over to tell us she had gotten a great research job in Portland. Lydia is a botanist specializing in medical aspects of wildlife and how plant life can affect human life. She was a teaching and conducting research on noxious effects of plant life at Marymount University. She said the institute in Portland would enable her to get back in to the field. My mom thought it was a great opportunity but was sad to see Lydia go; I was as well but we could visit her on the west coast, which could be fun.

After finishing with the first box, which contained mostly jeans, shorts, and trousers, I started on shirts in the next box. A week before Lydia was to take off for Portland my mom had an aneurysm in a completely unexpected manner. I was sitting in algebra when I was sent to the principal's office and found my aunt crying.

"Cassandra, do you have any hangers?" Lydia asks though my door.

"Yeah," I say grabbing a handful and opening the door.

"Thanks, I ran out," she smiles and turns back in to her room. Lydia never told me but I heard her talking on the phone with her new employer. It took her a while but she was able to convince them to let me come to Portland. Later that night she sat me down in her kitchen. She told me that we would not being going to Portland. In fact the people who had hired her lived on a tropical secret-like island. She was going to help Dr. Juliet Burke who was studying pregnancy on the island. Juliet wanted her to study the botany on the Island to see if any of the plant life was negatively affecting pregnancy on the island. Lydia said that she had become suspicious when they informed her that they would not be journeying to Portland but the opportunity of field research and discovering new plants was too good to pass up. If I was uncomfortable with these deceitful travel plans we would stay in Arlington. Needless to say I had no problem with the skullduggery.

Later that night, after Lydia had forced herself to go to bed to avoid jetlag, I couldn't fall asleep. Looking around my mostly unpacked room I found nothing to hold my interest. I had organized my books, made my bed, and unpacked all essential stuff including my clothes. Looking into my closet I notice an indentation on the back of it. Crawling off my bed I look at the square indentation. Pushing against it I feel it give way and I slide it off to the side revealing a ladder. Looking behind me I make a decision to explore this new development.

The dust in the secret room is copious but I hold my breath as I climb up the ladder. When I get to the top I feel a hatch above my head and open it. Climbing out of the passage way I find myself on a landing near the top of the roof. From here I can see the courtyard and the houses but I doubt that anyone could see me because I am located on the back side of the roof. This could be a great help.

The next morning I woke up around 10am to the smell of bacon and French toast. Waking up took me from my unconscious but memories from my dreams remained.

_My hands were grasped in his hands held tightly above my head as his body pressed mine against the wall of my new bedroom. _

"_Say it," he demands lips inches from my own._

"_I want you," I answer and his lips come crashing down on mine. _

I keep my eyes closed as I relive the dream starring Ben Linus. I calm my breathing as I consider it. I've never had a dream with that level of lasciviousness and I could feel it's effect on me. Rolling over I planned on going back to sleep until my stomach informed me that food would be better option. Sighing I get out of bed and make my way to the kitchen in my nightgown and pajama pants expecting to find only Lydia. Instead I see Lydia and a blond woman.

"Good morning Cassandra," Lydia says. "This is Dr. Burke," she says indicating the blond woman who was standing up.

"Juliet, please," Juliet says shaking my hand.

"It's nice to meet you," I reply and take over the job of flipping the French toast.

"So I was just telling your aunt that I would love to show you around the compound if you'd like?" Juliet says.

"Really? Yeah that would be great," I say excited about see all the Island has to offer. "Would you like some French toast?" I say as the first batch is ready. She nods and I place some on her and Lydia's plates. There is a knock on the door and I am about to answer it when Lydia beats me to it. I turn back to the French toast only to stiffen when I hear Lydia's voice from the hallway.

"Mr. Linus. Come in come in. How are you this morning?" Lydia asks. The dream invades my mind only to replay itself on my consciousness. Taking a deep breath I attempt to rid myself of the blush I feel on my face and chest. I've gotten myself more of less under control before I hear Lydia and Ben enter the kitchen. Turning around I catch his eye and smile. His attention however soon turns to Juliet.

"Good morning Juliet," he says and pauses before adding, "Cassandra."

"Good morning," Juliet says not moving her attention from her breakfast, which she hasn't eaten much of.

"I thought I would come over and give you a tour of the Barracks," Ben says.

"Oh thank you Ben," Lydia says. "But actually Juliet has offered already and she was going to give me a tour of the labs."

"Thank you Juliet that is probably the most time efficient path," Ben says sitting down next to Juliet.

"Best to get to know each other earlier if we will be working together," Juliet says as she stands and places her plate in the sink. "Well I better go get ready. How about we meet outside in an hour?" Juliet asks Lydia who nods in the affirmative. "Bye, Ben, Cassandra."

When I notice her cold behavior directed solely at Ben I couldn't help but glare at her retreating back. Turning my attention back to the table I see Ben watching me. The look he is giving me is of a similar intensity from my dream, lacking of course the lust that was in the dream, and it takes me a moment to ask, "Would you like any breakfast, Mr. Linus?"

"No thank you," he replies. "Although I should go over some regulations of the community that you will need to know. The Pylons that mark the boundaries of this station are a defense mechanism so walking though them is lethal unless they are deactivated. Leaving the station requires the permission from the security team or me, who hold the deactivation codes, for safety purposes. The Island is expansive and contain animals that prove a threat so to prevent someone getting lost or harmed we limit the number of excursions."

"So I couldn't get a tour of the Island?" I ask sadly. His eyes turn from Lydia to me and he takes a moment before answering.

"Unfortunately not, it is too dangerous. Excursions are for the most part limited to adults," he says. "However all parts of the Barracks are open to you and you as well Lydia. Well I am sure Juliet will go over the rest with you. I'll let you get ready to meet her. Have a good day. Enjoy the Island."

Juliet had started the tour at the courtyard pointing our people's houses and then led us to the welcome center and the recreation center which contained a game room and quasi-library. Next were the security office and the former motor pool which was now the laboratories. As we neared the school and the cafeteria I saw about 10 people my age leaving the school.

"Alex," Juliet calls and a pretty girl my age with dark hair leaves the group and approaches. When Alex gets to us Juliet introduces us. "Alex is Ben's daughter," Juliet says.

"Nice to meet you Alex. You must love living here. It's amazing, although I would love to explore the Island what I've seen in incredible," I say honestly. Though out the tour the pull to visit the rest of the island remained but what I saw of the barracks I had enjoyed.

"Sure," she says. Her once in place smile is gone and I get the urge that she is trying not to roll her eyes.

"Well I better get home," Alex says and walks off in the opposite direction of the courtyard. Juliet steers us back to the courtyard.

"Forgive her," Juliet says. "Growing up with someone like Ben would be hard on anyone." Now I am the one resisting the urge to roll eyes. I couldn't understand why she didn't like Ben. I lagged behind as Lydia and Juliet walk back to the houses. All and all I was looking forward to living here.

I hope you enjoyed it. Comments are welcome.


	3. Latin

A/N: I don't own anything. Sorry it took so long; I was at the beach and then had two papers to write. Thanks to my reviews. I love the feedback. I hope you enjoy this chapter. The finale was AMAZING. I actually quite like Alex; I just paint her in a negative light for the sake of the story. This chapter and subsequent ones take place a year before Oceanic 815 crashes.

Almost Two Years Later:

January

Cassandra is 17

_Time does not change us. It just unfolds us._

_~ Max Frisch_

"Okay. Okay. Settle down," Mrs. Conroy says and is finally able to get the kids around me to settle down. School. Who thought that in the middle of the jungle there would still be a school? (And rules, and somehow a group who doesn't really like me.) "Has everyone finished their translation?" Mrs. Conroy asks and in the usual teenage fashion everyone looks down in an attempt to be ignored.

In the two years since I arrived on the Island not much has changed. I am still me, Lydia is still Lydia, and I still feel the unexplainable alienation. I felt it in Arlington, I felt it when my mom died, I felt it when I first arrived on the Island and although I get along with everyone, almost, on the Island and many value me as a confident I feel this emptiness. I can't explain it. I don't feel close to anyone on this Island, although this is nothing new I haven't felt connected to anyone ever; it just took me a while to realize it.

I'm not saying that I don't like being on the Island. In fact I do feel connected to it, more than any human. I love it here. Despite the fact that I am not allowed to go traipsing off though the jungle I feel like I am home and I couldn't imagine leaving. The barracked are great regardless of the fact that I fell alone when surrounded by its population. With all that needs to be done, the numerous areas in which I can offer my services, and my endless supply of book I am not bored. I don't help Lydia and Juliet out much because my lack of knowledge in science proves a hindrance, I don't really like Juliet, and I see enough of Lydia at home. Not to mention the fact that they get to go traipsing off in the jungle in abundance. Weather to take samples, visit the other Dharma labs, or whatever it is they are doing they are gone a lot. Needless to say I never get to go. That's not to say I never leave the Barracks. We, the kids and I, are allowed camping trips with adults and exploration missions but they are never very far from the barracks and always with copious supervision.

"Miss Kendrick?" I look up from the book in front of me to see Mrs. Conroy and the class looking at me. "Line 28 please?"

'' Quis est qui non statuant inter imperium amoremque ?'' I say in Latin before translating it in to English. "Who is there who cannot decide between power and love?"

"Perfect. And the Imperium Amoremque?"

"It is accusative." I answer Mrs. Conroy's question.

"And if it were instead Imperium Amorque?"

"It would be nominative and it would mean power and love." Mrs. Conroy smiles at me before turning to her next victim.

When I first got to the Island and begun school I thought it was weird that we had to learn Latin but since then I have to come to really love the language. We don't speak it much to each other in the barracks but sometimes you can hear people conversing in the so called dead language. I asked once why we had to learn it and was answered with, "Ben wants everyone to learn it."

Ben. I haven't seen much of him since my first couple of days here on the Island. Well not true. I see enough of him but the number of interactions between him and I could be counted on one hand. He is usually working. Running the barracks takes little work I can imagine so I have decided that what keeps him occupied it what lays outside the Pylons. Every couple of weeks he and some security people leave the barracks for spontaneous amounts of time. Those are very boring periods here in the barracks, at least for me. If he is in the courtyard he is easy enough to watch from my secret perch. And let me just tell you what secret things I have found out up there about other residents of the barracks; but I will get to that latter. I am not sure what about Ben interests me. I've chalked it up to wanting to know what goes on in the upper levels of society here on the Island. Although they do not act suspicious and claim that the security teams acts only as protection for the community I have found their behavior cunning, calculating and utterly fascinating. They, mostly Ben and his select advisors, have become my main focus although I do leave time to devote to the comings and goings of the rest of the population. I'm not into voyeurism I just like to know what is going on.

"Since we have finished the chapter I'll let you guys out for the day," Mrs. Conroy says and my class mates are rushing out the door before she changes her mind. "Oh, Miss Kendrick, since you're the only one left could you drop this off at Alex's. It's her homework." If ever there was an argument for running out of the class room as if the bubonic plague was approaching it would be the 19 words Mrs. Conroy just said.

"No problem," I answer grabbing the book and notebook she is handing me before walking out in to the sunny day. I exit the school and path through the playground before arriving at the path that will take me back to the courtyard. It is almost like Mrs. Conroy is attempting new torture methods. Alex has been out of school the past couple of days for unknown reasons. I have yet to determine if she is home of if she got her father to let her go to another station. The entire island is practically her play ground; although I doubt if her dad would let her go outside the barracks alone. At least she can get out at all.

Considering the possible outcomes this situation is nothing but bad. If Alex is home, sick or whatnot, she will attack me for bring me her homework because A) it is work and B) because it is me, her second to least favorite person in the world, bringing it. Talk about killing the messenger. If she isn't home and no one is home, which is the best possibility and may actually lead to a positive outcome now that I think about it, I'll leave the homework on the porch and check every hour to make sure Alex has in fact gotten it. The third option is the most interesting; it is the worst yet I can't help but enjoy the idea. Now if Ben is home I'll have to knock (can't leave it on the porch looking like a pussy) and he'll answer the door and we'll have to talk. The courtyard comes in to view and instead of veering towards my house my aim is centered on Ben's house.

You should know, before I tell you any more, that I have continued to have the same dream I had on the first night on the Island.

_My hands were grasped in his hands held tightly above my head as his body pressed mine against the wall of my new bedroom. _

"_Say it," he demands lips inches from my own._

"_I want you," I answer and his lips come crashing down on mine._

I've had the dream about once a month since I got here. It is as if my mind doesn't want to forget every feeling in it and every detail. Although I wake up more or less extremely content the days afterwards are filled with confusion until I have successfully rid my mind of said confusion and all that remains is the dream. The one thing that has managed to change in the almost two years is I can be near Ben, all the time remember the dream, and not blush, thank heaven. I do not like to analyze my dream; it always brings warm and confusing, and conflicting feelings, and thus has not determined what it could mean.

Walking up the steps I clutched the homework to my chest. In an attempt to delay the inevitable I approached the beautiful red flowers on the other side of the porch. They smelled beautiful. As I was about buck up the courage to knock on the door it opened suddenly and Bonnie Daniels come storming out.

"I'm not doing it Ben, okay!" she says forcefully and stalks off towards her house without noticing me. As he watches her leave I decide that I have the worst luck.

"Mr. Linus?" I say hesitantly. He turns and looks at me, not as if he as just noticing I was there ( I highly doubt that Ben is the kind of person that doesn't take in his surroundings even if he is getting yelled at) but just realizing that it was weird that I was standing on his porch.

"Yes, hello Miss. Kendrick, please come in," he says moving out of the way so I could enter the house. He leads me in to the kitchen with a contemplative look on his face. Ben for his part was annoyed; that was the second woman to storm out of the room he was in. The first of course being Juliet and he was unwilling to humor the idea that it was because he was upset about Juliet that he had somehow managed to fail in the simple task of getting Bonnie to do what he wanted.

Noticing the two glasses of ice tea on the table I move to pour more in the glass without the three pieces of lemon at the bottom. "Ice tea," I ask hoping to distract him from whatever has initiated the faraway look he has.

"Sure," he says and proceeds to take the glass and lean against the counter. He is frustrated, most people would probably only see Ben being Ben but the slight increase of his breathing is enough for me to understand that he is frustrated that Bonnie isn't going to do whatever it was they were talking about. "I want Bonnie to take the assignment in the looking glass," Ben says setting down the half empty glass. I realize that I have been staring at him and he decided to fill the silence. Now he is mad that he mentioned his failed plan to me. I take a seat at the table and look up at him.

"And she doesn't want to," I elaborate. He nods curtly and I decide to change the subject. "Mrs. Conroy asked me to drop off Alex's homework for the last couple of days," I explain setting the book and folder on the table.

"Thank you," He says resting his hands on the counter he is leaning on. "I'm sure she'll be glad to have it when she gets back."

"Yes I'm sure it will be a great relief for her to have her homework assignments. She is probably worried sick about getting behind," I say keeping the sarcasm out of my voice with great strain. He almost laughs.

"Doubtful. She'll probably assume it is my attempt to ruin her life," he says.

"You can always tell her I brought it over and you'll be off the hook," I suggest.

"With Alex, no she has the ability to blame both of us equally." I swear I don't like the sound of the word 'us'. Skipping over that awkward though I laugh. His eyes move an inconsequential amount to examine me after I laugh at his statement; dare I say in surprise. "Either way, thanks for brining it by."

"I'm glad to help," I say and taking that a subtle dismissal I stand up. He leads me to the door and we say our good byes .He hasn't closed the door yet and as I walk across the courtyard I feel him staring at me. Soon enough I hear the door close.

I have a plan forming in my head; I just hope he doesn't find out about it.

A/N: Hope you liked it. I hope to update soon but finals are coming up so I'll have to see how it goes.


	4. Plans

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in forever but my computer got a virus and I was to lazy to get it fixed. I'll try to update more regularly.

Chapter Four

_Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action. _

_~Napoleon Hill _

That night after dinner I begun my master plan. Lydia had gone off to the lab to examine the new specimens Juliet and her had collected on their recent outing to the Island so I was in the house alone. Taking out all the ingredients I would need for my famous red velvet cake I set to baking the delicious dessert.

Students at the school were allowed an hour lunch. Most of the kids ate at home or in the courtyard with their friends. I usually stayed at home and read while I ate. The next day however I stopped at home only to grab a couple pieces of my cake then headed off to Bonnie Daniels' house.

After being on the island for two years I had gotten to know everyone who lived in the barracks pretty well and often hung out with them for fun or to help them on whatever project they were working on for Ben. Bonnie was not different. I found her to be a fun if not a bit shallow.

Knocking on her door I prayed my plan would work. Here's hoping. After a few moments the door opened and Bonnie greeted my warmly. Her fight with Ben was evidently forgotten.

"So what brings you by Cassandra?" She asked when I got inside.

"I was worried for a test and spent the night baking," I say holding up the pieces of cake. "I think I have made more than Lydia and I can eat so I thought I would drop some off for you on my lunch break." I did indeed have a test this morning so I was covered if she checked on me for some reason. Not that I was worried for the test.

"Oh thanks Cassandra, you know how I love your red velvet," She says indicating I can sit at the kitchen counter. "Sit and eat with me while you're on your break."

"Thanks," I smiled glad that she had taken the bait and invited me for a chat. After some small talk I plunged in. "So what has been up with you I feel like my life is so boring?"

"Oh me? Nothing much. However Ben did ask me to take a two year gig at the looking glass. You know that underwater station? But I turned him down." She said dismissively.

"Really?" I feigned excitement and jealously. "That is so exciting. Gosh I'm jealous. What a opportunity." I break and take a bite of my cake. She is just looking at me and so I continue. "Getting out of here for a whole two years? Away from all the drama of who is sleeping with who. Not to mention that you would have all the time to read and do everything you don't have time to do around here. I know I would love such a trip. You are so lucking. Do you have anything to drink?" I ask politely. I allow the topic to drift to the latest gossip about everyone on the Island. Most of which I know already from observing the barracks.

"Okay sorry to bring it up again but," I blurt our randomly, "I am just so jealous. Ben must really trust and respect you to offer you such an opportunity. I've been dying to help out on the Island but everyone says I'm not ready." A lie by the way I am plenty helpful to everyone on the Island but they say I can't really start helping out until I'm 18 which is in a couple months yet. "Hey if you're turning it down I think I'll ask Ben if I can do it. Gosh what an opportunity." I let a excited faraway look grace my features as I nibble at the remaining pieces of my cake. "Did you hear that Tommy Mulligan is hanging out with Melanie," I add. These barracks are like high school most of the time. I find a good percent of the gossip utterly unimportant but hey a mission is a mission. I can see the gears working in Bonnie's head as she questions me about Tommy. She doesn't realize that I am playing her in an attempt to get her to do Ben's will which was what I was afraid of. Seems the innocent façade I project most of the time and the fact that I should be ignorant of the coming and goings of this island protected me.

Soon after she reminds me that I need to be getting back to class. "Shoot I wanted to go talk to Ben, all well I will go talk to him tomorrow." We say our good byes and I make my way back to class. Now all I can do is wait and see if I was successful in persuading Bonnie to take Ben up on the looking glass assignment.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. But when I awoke the next day I decided to do a bit of investigation. Since it was Saturday I was afforded the liberty to sneak up to my roof and saw that the courtyard was a bit more active than most Saturdays. As I watched I saw many people visiting Bonnie or Greta's houses. I felt the smirk on my face as I realized that Bonnie took the bait.

I practically skipped into the kitchen for brunch. Lydia was making waffles. "Good morning. So there is going to be a bit of a hoopla tonight," Lydia said.

"Why?" I asked innocently enough.

"Well it looks like Greta and Bonnie will be going on assignment for two years."

"Really, what for?" I asked and I happily observed that Lydia didn't find the comment the least bit suspicious and just continued to make brunch.

"That looking glass station. So everyone decided to have a bit of a barbeque tonight."

I had bothered to dress up for the barbeque in a dark green dress but found the whole affair rather boring. I has snuck off well in to the beginning of the dinner and was currently hiding up a tree. Resting comfortably leaning back on a branch I propped War and Peace up and read. The murmurs of conversations from the party providing the perfect back ground noise I lost myself in the classic work.

Soon however two voices grew louder. Lifting my head up I listened to the distorted voices grow closers. Soon the figure of Juliet and Goodwin came in to view wrapped around each other.

"Goodwin we should go back to the party," Juliet said as she disentangled herself from the man.

"I know Juliet but I hardly get to see you," Goodwin said as he wrapped his arm around her waist. I had known about this little affair for a while and found it rather unbecoming of Juliet partly because I didn't like Juliet and partly because Goodwin was a bit of a bore. Juliet pulled him in for a kiss and they proceeded to get intimate. I would explain the details of their um interaction but it is hardly worthy of typing. My dream about Ben all those years ago was more intense. As a 17 year old girl I couldn't help but be interested in their relations. The island didn't exactly provide outlets for such pursuits besides the boys in my age group who I found utterly unattractive. I had similar feelings about Juliet and Goodwin at the moment.

After they let I went easily back to reading only to be disturbed again by a figure finding their way in to my clearing. This time is was an agitated Benjamin Linus. I could usually control myself around this enigmatic person but his unexpected presence drew a quiet gasp from my lips. Ben glanced up before surveying the landscape around him. He appeared to be looking for something, or someone. I thought he had failed to notice me but his voice rang out, "You can come down now, Cassandra."


	5. Confession

A/N Hey Everyone. I hope that you are all enjoying the story feel free to give feedback.

**Show me the man who keeps his house in hand,He's fit for public authority. Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC), Antigone **

**Between understanding and faith immediate connections must subsist. Marquis de Sade **

Sheepishly I jumped down from my perch in the trees and landed a couple feet from Ben. Straightening my dress I looked up at him hesitantly. Ben was dressed in the same black pair of slacks I had seen him in early this morning but he changed his shirt to a dark black one for the barbeque. He was mad. That much I could tell. His jaw was set and static energy seemed to roll off him.

"Hello, Sir," I said hoping to appease him.

"What are you doing here Miss Burr?" he asked and he sounded tired; as if this was just one more thing he would have to seal with before he could deal with what he really wanted to deal with.

"I was just getting away from the crowd," I answered. I was hoping he wouldn't ask why I had wanted to leave; I had already had to lie enough on that subject. Ben seemed to really see me then. There was a heartbeat where I knew he was analyzing me.

"Has anyone come though here?" he asked me then.

"Goodwin and Juliet," I answered and understood that he had been looking for Juliet. I couldn't help the slight frustrated frown that graced my features. He didn't seem to notice anyway.

"A while ago I suppose," he asked readying to leave.

"No they have just left," I said. That made his stop and turn around to face me again with a aghast and questioning look. "They were getting intimate," I explained.

"Excuse me?" Ben said. His eyes had narrowed and his right hand moved to the back of his waistband. "And you're telling me you hung around and watched?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I was curious," I said blushing while I moved my gaze to my Mary Janes.

"Was your curiosity appeased?" he asked and I noticed that his voice had gotten closer. Looking up his hand had moved from his gun and both were now crossed in front of him.

"No." I waited for him to change the topic or at the very least say something but when he didn't I was forced to fill the silence. "I have more questions. It seemed rather unenthusiastic. I was under the impression that it was more," I paused hoping he would stop me but he didn't, "… passionate and commanding." I couldn't help remember the dream of me and him up against the wall.

"It could be," Ben said and the words were so laced with bitterness that I know they weren't directed to me. He looked up at my face and must of seen some of the intrigue I was feeling written on my face because he took another step forward. "Is there something else you wanted to tell me?" He asked his voice lowering. For my credit I didn't take a step back but I felt my whole body tense up. I knew he noticed it to.

"No."

"Really?" He paused waiting for me to fill the silence as I had done before but I held my silence by a thread of self control. "For some reason Bonnie changed her mind and is going to the looking glass." I heard the breath of relief I let out before I could stop it.

"I didn't know she didn't want to go." I said making my voice sound calm and confused. He looked at me like he just saw something new about me. I knew he didn't buy it for a second.

"I'm not mad," he says and I feel myself relax. I thought he would be if he ever found out either because I had interjected myself in to his business or because he messed up in convincing Bonnie in the first place. I should have known that I wouldn't be able to keep anything from Ben.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked. Although I knew lying to Benjamin Linus was foolish I needed to know where I had gone wrong.

"When I asked Bonnie why the change of heart she only said that it was something you had said. Now what I've been wondering is what you said." His voice had gotten harder and I didn't even think to lie or not tell him the entire truth.

"I went over to her house under the guise of extra cake after I heard her yelling that she wouldn't do what you wanted her too. I asked her what was new with her and she told me about your request. I played it as if I was jealous and said that you must think a lot of her and made up some benefits. What got her though was that I told her that I really wanted the assignment and that I was going to ask you for it."

"I figured you had over heard a bit of our conversation when you dropped off Alex's homework," He pondered out loud. "But why did you take it upon yourself to convince her?"

"You wanted her to go. I wanted to help." It was the simplest truth. I had wanted to help. The more complicated truth was that I would do anything he wanted but I didn't even know how to phrase that at the moment. He stared at me for a long while just looking at me.

"Why did you escape the party?" he asked.

"I don't really like such social events," I said and found myself in the same silence. "It reminds me that I don't feel connected to any of them." At this Ben almost looked worried.

"You've been here two years now. You understood Bonnie well enough to get her to take the most boring assignment and yet you don't feel connected to any one here?" Ben asked and I got the impression that he thought that I didn't like it on the Island.

"Yes but its not the people here. I've always felt that there was something that alienated me from people, I never really felt that I was related or linked to anyone. The only thing that I have felt linked to is this Island." I said but left off the end of the sentence I had formed in my head which ended with, "and you."

The look he was giving me reminded me of myself when I stared at the mirror for too long and could hardly recognize myself while at the same time understanding myself too well. He let out a breath.

"Go back to the party, Cassandra." I waited but he only nodded at me to obey him and that is what I did without a second thought. Before he was out of sight I looked back to find him staring at me. I returned to the party with a smile and friendly conversation.


	6. Duplicity

A/N: I apologize for being the most unreliable updater ever. I will try super hard to update more frequently. Just as a warning the relationship between Ben and Cassandra will simmer for a while before actually exists. I hope you enjoy. Andy feedback is greatly appreciated.

I was involved, deeply involved, in a deception... I have deceived my friends - and I had millions of them. ~Charles Van Doren Profit is sweet, even if it comes from deception. ~Sophocles

Duplicity

Every once and a while the adults permitted the teenagers camping trips outside the barracks. This usually involved every teacher and one parent per student combined with a half an hour hike from the pylons. This trip was orchestrated by Lydia to stop me complaining about my restricted access to the Island. Juliet helped. Needless to say it was not sufficient to appease my urge or curiosity. I didn't tell Lydia this of course, it would make me look petulant. Juliet and Lydia needed more basic environmental test subjects and had recruited the teenagers to help gather plant life. While most teenagers would find hunting for plants a boring affair one might be surprised by the excitement that permeated the group. In truth they were just happy for the chance to see outside of the barracks, myself included, even if the trip only took us about a mile from the camp, wherein any adventure had a minimal possibility at the best. Alex declined to attend quoting that she had seen everything worth seeing. I found this very unlikely but didn't care to comment. This Island, it was hardly something Alex could fully understand, even with the extended area she had been allowed to amble through.

Once the group was returned safely to the barracks, the following morning, most of my classmates' cabin fever had been cured. Mine, which had been simmering since I arrived, only grew. The pull I had been feeling towards this Island was hardly determined null and void by one night mere feet from the barracks. This trip however marked he turning point. I could no longer ignore the connection I felt towards the Island. Perhaps the inadequate excursion combined with that fact that my latest in counter with Ben (the memory of which had since been unable to leave my conscious) highlighting my current feelings of despondency lead to this vigorous determination to explore. What I needed was a plan.

A surveillance of the pylons, done from up a tree near one the more common entrances, revealed that only Ben and his security personnel had the access codes to the pylons that allowed safe passage to the rest of the Island. Supply orders were too well observed by the security teams to use as a valid escape and too irregular for a re-entry plot. My best chance for safe exit and return would be to obtain the security codes for the pylons. Although my surveillance from my roof provided me with a plethora of information the pass codes did not fall into that category. Jackson Barlet, however, did.

Jackson had finished school last year then joined the security force rather than the kitchen detail with his mother. He lived three houses down from Lydia and myself. He was rather nice to me when I had first gotten to the Island, showing me around and explaining the school dynamics. When Alex had began to show a dislike towards me he had continued to talk to me. Being me, I had never fostered the friendship preferring to be left alone, but felt no need to deter the conversations. No use burning that bridge in an attempt to avoid the feelings of isolation that cropped up whenever I interacted with anyone, a fact for which I was grateful for now considering he had access to the securities codes.

And because he was terrible at remembering numbers.

School had just let out for the weekend and I felt confident in my surveillance of Jackson Barlet. Jackson although only having been in the security detail for a year seemed to have a rapport with the other agents, who seemed to regard him highly. This meant that he would certainly have the codes even if I had yet to see him enter them in the pylons. As an added bonus he seemed to be lonely since the departure of Bonnie, his girlfriend, the month prior.

I had taken extra time gathering my books and papers into a precarious pile once school was dismissed. The afternoon shift would soon be starting for security personal. I walked through the courtyard hoping that my timing would permit the two of us to be in the courtyard at the same time. Luck seemed to be lending a helping hand because Jackson was just walking out of his house when I conveniently dropped my pile while trying to readjust the large stack. Jackson always had been a bit of a gentleman.

"Oh let me help you with that," Jackson said hurrying to my side. The two of us made quick work of gathering my belongings. "Hey Cassandra."

"Hey Jackson," I say smiling up at him before grabbing the last paper and standing up myself. "Thank you so much guess I brought a bit too much to class today."

"You always were prepared," he says. "How is Mrs. Conroy treating you?"

"The same as always, as if I'm butchering the Latin language." He laughs. I smile back allowing the slightest blush to form.

"You know we haven't really hung out since I finished school. Would you want to catch up later tonight?" he asks in response.

"I'd love to," I answer tucking a stray hair behind my ear. "As long as you don't attempt to steal my math homework, like you did the last time we hung out."

"Never proven. I still hold that I was just making sure you put your name on it."

"Likely story," I flirt.

I had spent the last month spending sporadic and lengthy time with Jackson Barlet. Although he was gone for periods of time on expeditions throughout the Island he made a point to spend an exceptional amounts of time with me when he was stationed at the barracks. For my part I flirted, blushed, and laughed at his jokes while keeping the relationship from extending to the physical level. Jackson was nice if not a little to gentlemanly for my liking. I hadn't spent any of that time looking for the pass codes for fear of being discovered while our relationship was so fresh.

A month was long enough.

Jackson had just gotten off duty when I surprised him during my lunch period. I met him outside the security headquarters sandwiches in hand. When he saw me walking up to him a smile broke over his face.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" he asked jovially.

"Lunch," I said shifting my weight and tucking a stand of hair behind my ear nervously. Jackson picked up on my apprehensive attitude. "I thought we could eat at your place?" His smile widened at my insinuation.

"Of course," he said hastening me towards his empty house.

"Do I get a tour?" I asked when we entered.

"Of the identical Dharma houses? Of course," he said. I blushed. Once we got to the bedroom I sat on the bed and unpacked the lunches I had brought while Jackson went to get drinks. When he got back we both made fast work of the sandwiches while lounging on his bed.

"I'm glad we started hanging out again," I say staring at him.

"Me too," he says. I can't help but note that this moment is lacking the intensity so vivid from my dream of Ben before I put my plan into action. Moving slightly I spill my drink all down the front of his security pants.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry," I say as the two of us jump up from the bed. "That was so not what I wanted to happen."

"It's fine really Cassandra," Jackson says smiling. "I'm just going to change and grab a towel from the laundry room. I'll be right back." Once the door closes behind him I jump in to motion. It only takes me a moment to find the pants he was wearing for duty yesterday slung over the desk chair. Rifling through the pockets I found a slip of paper with the numbers 794742 written followed by the dates of this week. Guess they change the codes every Tuesday I think to myself as I read the numbers over one more time before returning the paper to pocket. When Jackson reenters the room I am right where he left me. Together we mop up the juice from him bed.

"I should be getting back to class," I say reluctance entering my tone.

"It is about that time," Jackson says. I smile at his reluctant tone I head towards the door before he could close the space between us. Once outside I couldn't stop the smirk that emerged on my face due to the fact that I had been right in my assumptions and that today was Friday.

Although it was close to midnight the air was still warm. I had a jacket with me but I didn't have need for it at the moment. Lydia was on the other side of the Island for the next week with Juliet so the time I had spent this afternoon preparing for my weekend on the Island unsupervised went unnoticed. The backpack slung over one shoulder was packed with the essentials food, water, and the like. I had snuck out of the courtyard using the cover of night and had found my way to the pylons. I stood staring at them unable to move.

It had been a little over two months since my encounter with Ben at Bonnie's going away party. The two of us continued in the same routine we had going for the last two years, which meant a bare minimum of interaction. He continued to spend most of his time leading members of the barracks and with Juliet. I continued to go to school and whatnot with the added job of hanging out with Jackson. However, when I was out and about, I often felt as if someone was watching me. I never saw him. Yet, I knew from the exited tension that washed over me at random times that he was watching me. To what end I was unsure. We had bumped into each other two weeks ago. I had just rounded the laboratories when Ben was walking in the opposite direction.

"What are you doing out so late Miss. Kendrick?" he asked when I stopped at the unexpected sight of him.

"I'm on my way home, I was helping out Harper with some filing," I answered. He was dressed as usual in a button down and khakis, a bag in hand. He was watching me, determining weather I was telling the truth, which I was. I couldn't stop the blush that rose from his inspection. "Filing you say? Are you sure you weren't collecting more data concerning Goodwin's intimate liaisons?" he joked a smirk playing prominently on his face. My blush extended without reserve.

"No, sir. I haven't collected data on the liaisons of anyone," I respond. "Plus he is hardly a desirable candidate if i were to take up voyeurism full time." He laughs, it's a low and deep laugh which barely makes its way to my ears. I can't believe I just said that to Ben.

"Really one would think he would be a prime candidate," he says.

"Hardly," I scoff but quickly add a "Sir" to the ending. I can tell that he wants me to elaborate.

"He's a bit of a joke, tame, and not exactly attractive," I expand. He stares at me.

"Stay out of trouble," he says before making his way towards the pylons.

I stand recalling my interactions with Ben, real and created through dreams, as I stare at the Pylon ridden boundary. My recent contemplations are born of my inability to cross the threshold, my inability to enter the codes illegally. The pylons could be overcome easily enough while the command of another prevents my passage. As I stand in the shadows a lone figure makes it's way towards me.


	7. Reciprocity

A/N: I added a little bit to chapter 5 but nothing I won't explain so you won't need to go back and re-read it. Sorry about how long it takes me to update. Now that I'm free for the summer I am hoping to update regularly. Thanks for all the reviews and everything. J

Chapter Seven

A man builds a fine house; and now he has a master, and a task for life; he is to furnish, watch, show it, and keep it in repair, the rest of his days.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), Society and Solitude: Works and Days, 1870

Confidentiality is a virtue of the loyal, as loyalty is the virtue of faithfulness. ~Edwin Louis Cole

Obedience is due only to legitimate powers. ~Jean Jacques Rousseau

I stood staring at the Pylons unable to move closer to them, let alone through them. My first day on the Island, I recollect, Ben had strictly told me never to go out into the jungle without permission. Somehow, even through he wasn't here, I couldn't bring myself to disobey him. I had finally grown a bit chilly as I stood staring at the Island I had never been able to truly explore refusing to consider the power Ben seemed to hold on me. Sighing I turned around to head towards my house. I jumped in surprise as I saw Ben a mere foot from me.

"Miss Kendrick. Finally got the codes from Jackson," he bluntly states. He had stopped in front of me and was staring.

"Sir. Yes." In that moment I realized what I had not been able to see before, he had played me. I remember a moment from our previous conversation in the woods that I thought I'd forgotten.

"_The only thing that I have felt linked to is this Island" I say. _

"_Linked? With the Island you don't even know? You know it inhabitants so well." He pauses his eyes analyzing me. "Go back to the party Cassandra." _

He had bated me. Calling me out on my lack of experience with the Island to make my confinement as unbearable as it has been in the last month. He wanted to see if I could get through the pylons. He played me. I nibble on my bottom lip to help reign in my anger. It's mostly directed at myself for not noticing the play than at him and I'd never want to shout at him. His eyes move to my lip as I bit it before quickly retuning to my eyes as a slight smile plays on his face. He is enjoying my anger.

"I knew I'd find you out here eventually," he asserts.

"How did you know I was out here?" I ask. I did not see any cameras but at the rate I'm going there could be many watching this particular point, which I had chosen for it's privacy.

"I didn't," he says, " I have something to do." He begins walking past me and was soon a couple feet from me. "Get back to your house Miss Kendrick," he ordered moving towards the pylons easily, something I couldn't do. "I'll be speaking to your boyfriend about giving you those codes."

"He didn't give them to me." That made him stop although that hadn't been my intention. I had only been unable to keep quiet around him. He turned back to look at me. "I found them written on a piece of paper in the pocket of his pants," I say then realize how inappropriate that sounded and the darkness surrounding us, I hoped, hid the blush that formed.

"Just happened upon them did you?" he asks taking a step closer.

"I was looking for them. I know he is dreadful at numbers and guessed he'd write them down. I found it yesterday," I say unable to stop myself from happily reveling my plan to this man. This man who knew all about plans.

"With all that work I'm surprised you were too petrified to go out on your own," he said unfazed by my confession. I did that a lot, confessed to him.

"I'm not afraid," I say in what might have been a petulant voice. I hope not.

"Then what are you doing out here little girl retreating back to your house without stepping through the pylons?"

"You told me not to," I say with an edge to my voice. Why? Why did I say that? Why not just tell him that he somehow has me wrapped around his finger. Here I was breaking my own rules. Don't appear venerable. While I didn't explicitly live my life following any self imposed rules. I avoided venerability like the plague. And here I had gone and royally displayed it. And he was just staring at me with that indifferent analytical look. Up close it was more than unnerving and I felt my blush spread down my neck. I swallowed as I pushed thoughts of my reoccurring dream from my mind.

"That was two years ago," he says.

"I know that." He seems to ignore me and turns away making his way back to the pylons.

"Come on," he says without turning around. Being as stunned as I am I don't move forward until he barks out. "Now." At the pylons Ben types in the code not bothering to hide the sequence.

"I'm changing them when we get back." His hand comes to rest on the small of my back. He is slowly pushing me forward and thorough the harmless pylons as if knowing that I would have trouble doing it on my own again. Once were through he reenters the pass code and marches ahead of me. I quickly follow.

Walking through the jungle I follow Ben without thinking. The excitement of being in the jungle without a caravan of supervision and the ability to explore barely holds a candle to the fact that Ben is obviously allowing me to accompany him while he takes care of whatever he is doing. He is walking purposely through he jungle. He knows the Island better than, I'd imagine, anyone and he definitely knows where he is headed. Trying to split my attention between the Island and Ben, both of which are more than enigmatic, I'm not even considering making conversation. Until Ben decides to slowdown a bit and fills the silence.

"I'm surprised you waited a whole month to rifle around for the codes?"

"I could have been looking for them this whole time." He doesn't say anything. "I didn't want to risk it until I was sure he wouldn't go telling if he caught me."

"If you would have waited he would have taken you out himself."

"I wasn't about to settle for a romantic picnic." Pht. What a metaphor for my life.

"You could have just tired him out and waited until he fell asleep then gone exploring," he says and I don't miss the insinuation.

"I wasn't about to wait longer than I had to and plus Jackson and I don't have that kind of relationship."

"Does he know that?" he asks but doesn't allow me to answer before he beginning again. "A month, give or take, and you got the codes from him without any intimacy? I wouldn't have expected that from someone with your hobbies." I was never going to live down my moment of inadvertent voyeurism. "If you had given him that type of relationship I'm sure he would have happily given you the codes on a silver platter." I didn't know whether to be offended or uplifted that he thought my body or seduction skills could induce such a reaction from Jackson.

"I prefer duplicity to reciprocity," I respond. He looks over at me as we are now walking side by side.

"Yes you would wouldn't you." We continued walking through the harsh underbrush of the jungle in silence. After a while I decide to brave conversation once more. He had spoken earlier so I assume he wasn't completely adverse to it.

"I know you're not going to tell me what you're doing. Do you go out a lot by yourself?"

"You tell me," he says but it wasn't harshly spoken.

"You yes, you do. But for the security team they usually always go out in groups."

"This particular task I can complete easily alone and thus I had no need for their assistance," he replies. I look over at him and really see him. He is staring ahead leading us through the jungle without any problem although now that were in the jungle the darkness had gotten worse, even with our flashlights. I smile to myself before turning my attention back to the ground so I wouldn't trip over a root. "You seem to know a great deal about the coming and goings of life in the barracks."

"I pay attention." I glance to Ben and he is watching me as he walks. "I pay an abnormal amount of attention," I relent.

"How long have you known about Goodwin and Juliet?"

"Almost two years," I respond letting him know that they were never really good at hiding it or that I was paying attention to Juliet from the beginning. Not as much attention as he did but I was only human. When I turned to look at Ben he was still looking at me and I knew he saw the mildly frustrated face that I had at the thought of the Ben-Juliet-Goodwin triangle. He chuckled lightly at me and continued walking. I let it lapse in to silence once again after that because I was too interested in watching Ben as we walked.

The first rays of light had penetrated the canopy not long ago when Ben suddenly stopped. Where we were could hardly be called a clearing but there was a fallen tree resting against a rock and the ground was littered with leaves. Ben lookes at the tree before turning to me.

"Sit." I did and watched as be begun to walk away. The word "Stay" while not said was clearly felt by me. He made his way out of my eyesight without turning around. I could tell this was what he had come into the jungle to do and I waited like he implied I should. The moments turned into minutes. My urge to explore unencumbered grew but I stay sitting on the log admiring the landscape while waiting anxiously for Ben's return. Not fearing the dangers of the jungle but wondering where Ben was and anticipating his return. At one point I thought I could hear Ben's voice conversing with another but the winds changed and I could only hear the normal sounds of the Island. It hadn't escaped my notice that before he had completely left my eye line Ben had taken the gun from waistband, which had up until this point been hidden from my view. Minutes continued to crawl by as I sat on the tree. Soon however I hear someone approaching from the general direction Ben had left in.


	8. Slip Up

A/N: Two chapters in two days. I'm really feeling Lost at the moment so I'm hoping to get more chapters out at this rate but we'll see. I'm at a bit of an impasse at the moment in the story but I do have some great ideas. I hope you like the this chapter. I love any feed back. Thanks guys ;)

Chapter Eight

There can be a true grandeur in any degree of submissiveness, because it springs from loyalty to the laws and to an oath, and not from baseness of soul. ~Simone Weil

I want to believe that those who have been appointed to accomplish this mission will be totally committed, devoting all their skills and determination to their work. I urge you to lend them your support.~Paul Biya

True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost. ~Arthur Ashe

As Ben stepped into the faux clearing he looked around before his eyes finally landed on me. He didn't looked surprised but I could tell that he hadn't expected me to remain where he had left me. At first I thought that he looked the same as he had when he had gone off into the jungle. His gun was safely resting in the back of his waistband with his bag still over his shoulder. As he walked to me I could tell he was tired, as if he had gotten in a fight or run a great distance. When he got back to me he set his bag down next to mine and looked at me.

"Let's go." I moved to stand and when I was upright I tilted my head to look at him. Once I got past his carefully guarded blue eyes I noticed a splash of blood resting above his left temple. Without thought aor hesitation, which I would have if I had thought, I brought my hand up to the side of his face and let one finger gently trail down his face wiping off the blood, which stuck to my finger. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I saw that there was no wound under the blood. That the blood was not his. I brought my hand closer to my face and rolled the blood between my finger and my thumb as I stared at it. My intense gaze caught sight of his eyes and I returned my attention to him. He was staring at me although I couldn't describe the emotions behind his eyes. There was emotion there and that in and of itself was shocking. He grabbed my hand roughly and wiped the blood off with a handkerchief that had appeared out of no where. "Let's go," he said again. I bent down and grabbed his bag before slinging his and mine over my shoulder. I smiled at him and went off in the direction of the barracks. He soon caught up to me and took the lead. I followed behind him happily.

The trip back to the barracks seemed to take a shorter amount of time than it had on the way there. I knew it was because I didn't want to get back to the barracks. There I wouldn't be free to walk the jungle, there I always knew what the day would bring, and yes I'll admit there Ben and I hardly talked. The jungle was getting startling familiar. I don't know whether Ben could sense my hesitation but once again I found that we were walking side by side.

"There are things that happen on this Island that you don't know about," Ben said.

"A multitude, I'm sure." I glanced over at him and he returned his gaze back to the path we were taking. Soon the pylons came into my view. I couldn't stop the depressed sigh. Ben stopped then and turned to look at me.

"You're going to do two things when we get back," he says in a low voice. I move closer to him in an attempt to listen intently. His body tenses but he continues none the less. "You are never to speak of this." This request I have no problem with. He seems to have understood for he continued. "You will give me regular updates on any relevant activities of everyone in the barracks." I nodded in a quiet acceptance. He stared at me again for several moments with the same expression from the clearing. Yet soon he turned and made his way to the pylons. While the sun was bright over head everyone would still be asleep. Soon Ben was entering the codes for safe passage. I was happy when his hand found its way to the small of my back again as he ushered me into the barracks. "Go home Miss Kendrick." I accepted the dismissal. Handing Ben back his bag I looked at him for one moment before retreating to my house and bed. Glancing back I could see he was staring at me in cold contemplation.

After returning home I quickly fell into a troubled sleep. I woke up late which was expected because I hadn't gotten home until after nine. When I had woken from my fitful sleep the events from last night came flooding back and it took me only moments to realize that they weren't a dream. I had been traipsing around the forest while Ben did god knows what. Smiling I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a much needed shower. Although I didn't want any remnants of last night gone I thought I really should get the grime off. Humming to myself I was content as I dressed and made blueberry muffins for breakfast.

I was thinking to myself that I should get started on surveillance for Ben with renewed vigor when I heard a commotion from the courtyard. Curiosity won over hunger and I quickly made my way outside and on to my porch. At the moment nothing particularly interesting was happening. Jackson and a couple of his friends were on my side of the courtyard and when they got going they had a tendency to cause quite a ruckus. At the far side of the courtyard Ben and a couple other security members were walking through. For a fearful moment I thought Ben was coming to kick me off the island for my snooping but I soon realized his attention was focused elsewhere. Jackson noticed me and waved happily. I smiled and waved back but my eyes flicked towards Ben who noticed my reaction to the entire interaction.

His path visibly changed course although none of the men with him commented, as use to Ben's behavior as anyone could be. Stopping at the group of young men Ben begun a conversation with Jackson from which the other men soon left Jackson.

"What?" Jackson asked and I begun to listen to their conversation.

"You're being changed to permanent patrol division at Hydra," Ben said, the bored tone suggesting that he had already said that.

"Why? I didn't do anything wrong. Everyone knows that is a grunt job," Jackson exclaimed.

"We need another body there and you're going at the end of the day," Ben said.

"No. I'm not going to patrol around some desolate station," Jackson argued back, an attitude which I wasn't use to. Then Jackson turned to look at me for a brief moment. I froze although I hadn't been moving and I might have replied to his look with a reluctant smile. Reluctant wasn't something I looked like unless if was on purpose, this was not on purpose. I glanced at Ben whose eyes meet mine for a moment behind Jackson's back before flicking to my front door. Jackson turned back towards Ben and I took that opportunity to retreat back to my house as I could hear Ben telling Jackson that the Hydra wasn't so desolate now. Jackson was gone when I looked out the window but Ben's eyes met mine before he moved towards the laboratories.

Apparently Ben had kept Jackson so busy that day that we didn't even get a chance to say goodbye which was good because I had been wondering how to end our relationship so abruptly. I think I may have done too good a job befriending him, a lesson I would remember for next time. School, reading, and surveillance had kept me busy for the rest of the following week. Something outside the barracks had seized most of Ben's time and I sparsely saw him. Not that he acknowledged me any differently when I did. It was less disconcerting but I missed the intense stare he left me with at the pylons. It was probably good that Ben's behavior towards me hadn't changed because Lydia already thought something was up with me. Having thrown myself into Ben's request I hadn't realized that Lydia had begun to wonder where I'd run off to until she confronted me about it. Claiming that I simply missed Jackson she let it go with a smile and some metaphor of a pond and fish. Thanking my quick thinking I vowed to treat this assignment as I did with everything planning, dedication, and secrecy. Oh yeah and duplicity, must remember that one. Descending the stairs into my room from the roof I quickly threw a sweatshirt over my shorts and tee shirt and silently slipped out of the house.

I had been 'paying attention' to the barracks community well into the night and just as I had been about to call it a night I saw Ben walk out of his house and towards the trees. Deciding in a split moment to follow his retreating figure I dashed out of the house leaving my shoes behind. Hoping I hadn't lost him I dashed into the tree line and followed the little known path to the security shed. I couldn't see Ben but I figured he had gone this way. Walking quietly along the path I chastised myself for rushing after him. I had no real reason too and I refused to accept that I had just wanted to talk to him. After our expedition through the jungle I had been thinking about him more than ever in the last two years and that is saying something. I finally caught up with him as he walked silently thought the trees. I didn't immediately call out for him wondering how I would explain this when he stopped.

"I know you're following me," Be said and turned to face me.

"Hi," I say sheepishly and look down at my bare feet. I walk over to him as he has made no movement towards me.

"Did you really think I wouldn't notice?" he asks.

"No, I was only trying to talk to you." His eyes widen slightly and I'm sure no one else would have noticed not that anyone was around. Don't think about how alone we are. "To tell you what has been going on since you've been gone," I explain coming up with it on the spot. He seems to notice the smokescreen but doesn't comment. He grabs my arm and marched me up to the abandoned security shed. My breath began to quicken as we entered the shed and I couldn't control my blush. I hoped Ben would assume my reaction was due to the quick walking. The door swung shut behind me.


End file.
